One year ago this week, my life was turned up on edge and shaken around a few times. It has changed the course of my life and I am the better for it.
For the better part of 13 years, I have been leading worship as a volunteer through music and arts in local churches. Over these years I have had the growing feeling that God was calling me to full-time ministry. I eventually went back to school to get a degree in Christian Ministries and will eventually obtain my bachelors in Biblical Studies. My passion for full-time ministry dwarfs almost everything else in my life except my love for God, my wife and my boys. I currently serve on staff part-time as the worship and arts director at a local church, and have been there for almost 4 years. I enjoy very much what do when I am able to do it, and am blessed to have made so many friends and built so many relationships there. I also work full-time as a welder at a local welding shop, so balancing church and work, family and school has me very busy.
I spend countless hours buried in the basement office doing homework, planning services, practicing songs, goal setting and keeping up communications with those I need to direct and stay in contact with, not to mention doing all my schooling online. I love what I do for the Kingdom, I really do, so much so that I am willing to uproot my family and move to where ever God leads us next. I believe to the core of my being that God has been preparing us for the great things He has in store for me and my family, and one of the things I am learning, very painfully, is that my timing is not His timing.
Last June in 2009, I served as the Executive Producer for our denominations National Conference. During the conference, I met the pastor of a church from another part of the country who liked the job I did during the conference. He mentioned to my wife how he was going to be looking for someone to do that for his church on a weekly basis. One thing led to another and within a few months he and I were talking more specifically about it via email and facebook.
Fast forward 7 months to February 2010, and we are making our first trip out to visit the church, see the town and the people; and get a feel for if we think we could raise our family there and live in that part of the country while serving on staff full-time. We enjoyed our trip very much, and we were very excited for what the future might hold. We had spoken about making several more trips out to visit as well as taking our boys for a vacation there. Fast forward another 2 months to April 2010. The economy had been in the tank and it finally caught up with the church. Behind budget and looking at cutting staff, it didn't seem feasible for a new position to be put into the budget.
At this point Lisa and I are asking each other questions like, "why did things go this far only to be put on hold?" "are we putting all our eggs in one basket?" "should we be looking in other places as well for full-time ministry to see if God might have something else in mind?" We figured that if we tested waters else where, and all the doors were shut, then we were to wait for this other church and for God's timing there.
So I applied at several churches that had positions open that matched my skill sets, passions and desires for ministry. Everyone of them came back as a closed door. That process felt good in terms of having some confirmation one way or the other. So it became evident to me that God wanted us to wait on something.To some this process appeared like I was trying to change my situation and run ahead of God, pouncing on every opportunity that came my way in hopes that it would provide happiness or answers. What they didn't understand is that it was a process that I had to go through, it was prayed about, it was on purpose and not a flight from things as they were, but a way to purge all other options, also to make sure I wasn't looking at things with mono-vision.
So where are we now? Same place I was when I started this process, waiting on God. I'm OK with that. Sometimes I feel mad at God for not yet allowing me to be in full-time ministry doing what I love, what I am passionate about. And I get jealous when my school buddies get hired into the church full-time, but at the same time, I feel so very happy for them, because they feel what I feel. I wonder at times if I will ever get the opportunity to serve in that capacity. It causes questions of doubt in my mind as to what God's plans are for my life. I dream about how I could be spending my time meeting with people and talking to them about God's love for them, setting up creative services for the weekend, creating new and fresh ways to convey the Gospel to the community and change the world with the message of Jesus Christ. Am I wrong to feel this way? Am I wrong to want this in my life?
I know the answer, it's been stamped in my head...God's will, God's timing is perfect. I know that, I believe that, and I wouldn't want it any other and this is why. I know that if God sends me somewhere and I go, then He will resource everything I need to accomplish the mission He has given me. He will give me everything I need both physically, mentally and spiritually. I believe that, so I guess my prayer tonight is, God please help me in my unbelief. Help me to trust in you more, to know that you are working and I just don't see it. You know what's best for our life and I don't need to know right now, I just need to know that you are God, you are good, and your way is the best way.
Waiting isn't my strong suit, but I do love and need to learn how to serve more humbly and lead more effectively. I decided that while waiting on God and his timing, I can at least learn more about leadership, teaching and music, and all the other areas of ministry I enjoy. Therefore; we decided that we will leave where we are serving now, and I will place myself under leadership and folks who have been where I am, and have gone where I would like to go. I have prayed for wisdom and sought wisdom from Godly men whom I respect and trust about this decision, and it seems like a wise move both in terms of ministry and career. I have no doubt that this new chapter in our lives will stretch us and allow us to grow even more. I am excited about what the future might hold. I will continue to be prepared in and out of season and available to God to use as He pleases. Here am I, send me!
Psalm 86:11-12
"Teach me Your way O LORD, and I will walk in Your truth; grant me purity of heart that I may honor you. I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify Your name forever"
Saturday, June 05, 2010
Friday, January 08, 2010
The Gathering
On any given Sunday morning, you will find people gathering in their local church for worship. As we come together and begin to focus on God, we engage in what is called the Gathering. It is the first of four foundational walls of biblical worship. In the Gathering, a conversation starts between God and his people, and its specific purpose is to help us focus our hearts and minds on Him so that we are ready to receive the word of God.
As the conversation begins, God speaks to us as we listen to scripture being read, the lyrics of the songs being sung, or as we watch the scripture being interpreted through dance or drama. Then we begin to respond in the conversation with a spirit of celebration and thankfulness for who God is and what He has done, not only in our lives, but those around us.
As we progress in this conversation with God, His words and our response become more focused on Him. We intentionally bring our full attention to rest on God the Creator. Now we are ready to receive the spoken word through the sermon or message spoken by the pastor. As we come together for worship this Sunday, come knowing that God wants to speak to you, He desires to have a conversation with you that will help you to understand Him better and love Him more.
As the conversation begins, God speaks to us as we listen to scripture being read, the lyrics of the songs being sung, or as we watch the scripture being interpreted through dance or drama. Then we begin to respond in the conversation with a spirit of celebration and thankfulness for who God is and what He has done, not only in our lives, but those around us.
As we progress in this conversation with God, His words and our response become more focused on Him. We intentionally bring our full attention to rest on God the Creator. Now we are ready to receive the spoken word through the sermon or message spoken by the pastor. As we come together for worship this Sunday, come knowing that God wants to speak to you, He desires to have a conversation with you that will help you to understand Him better and love Him more.
Monday, December 28, 2009
The Lamb Slain
Revelation 5; 7:9-17
5:6-7
"Then I saw a Lamb, looking as if it had been slain, standing in the center of the throne, encircled by the four living creatures and the elders... 7He came and took the scroll from the right hand of him who sat on the throne. 8And when he had taken it, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb. Each one had a harp and they were holding golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints. 9And they sang a new song:
"You are worthy to take the scroll
and to open its seals,
because you were slain,
and with your blood you purchased men for God
from every tribe and language and people and nation.
10You have made them to be a kingdom and priests to serve our God,
and they will reign on the earth."
My first observation is that the Lamb (Christ) is able to walk up to God who is sitting on the throne, and take the scroll from his right hand. This is significant because it shows us God's approval of this slain lamb, and it shows us of the lambs strength. Who can take something from the hand of God but God Himself. This is yet another indication and reminder that Christ, the slain lamb, is indeed God.
My second observation is that of the worship that is happening in heaven around the throne of God. In the presence of God, every knee bows, there is no option. All the angels and elders and creatures fall to their faces and worship the LORD, It is an all consuming worship.
As we think of Jesus Christ, we need to remember and be reminded that Christ is God. Who can remove the separation that God placed on humanity but God Himself! As I think of the picture of worship that is given here, it serves as a reminder that when we worship God, it ought not to be on the basis of whether or not we like the music, or the atmosphere, it ought to be based on who God is. His Holiness, His righteousness, His love for us and His working in our lives.
If we choose to let silly things like music, lighting, atmosphere, and others around us, get in the way of worshiping God, the creator of the heavens and the earth. The God that created YOU and gave YOU LIFE, then it really isn't worship at all.
"Worship is the quickening of conscience by His holiness: the nourishment of mind with His truth; the purifying of imagination by His beauty; the opening of the heart to His love; the surrender of will to HIS purpose - and all of this gathered up in adoration, the most selfless emotion of which our nature is capable and therefore the chief remedy for that self-centeredness which is our original sin and the source of all actual sin."
William Temple
Revelation 5
The Scroll and the Lamb
1Then I saw in the right hand of him who sat on the throne a scroll with writing on both sides and sealed with seven seals. 2And I saw a mighty angel proclaiming in a loud voice, "Who is worthy to break the seals and open the scroll?" 3But no one in heaven or on earth or under the earth could open the scroll or even look inside it. 4I wept and wept because no one was found who was worthy to open the scroll or look inside. 5Then one of the elders said to me, "Do not weep! See, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has triumphed. He is able to open the scroll and its seven seals."
6Then I saw a Lamb, looking as if it had been slain, standing in the center of the throne, encircled by the four living creatures and the elders. He had seven horns and seven eyes, which are the seven spirits[a] of God sent out into all the earth. 7He came and took the scroll from the right hand of him who sat on the throne. 8And when he had taken it, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb. Each one had a harp and they were holding golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints. 9And they sang a new song:
"You are worthy to take the scroll
and to open its seals,
because you were slain,
and with your blood you purchased men for God
from every tribe and language and people and nation.
10You have made them to be a kingdom and priests to serve our God,
and they will reign on the earth."
11Then I looked and heard the voice of many angels, numbering thousands upon thousands, and ten thousand times ten thousand. They encircled the throne and the living creatures and the elders. 12In a loud voice they sang:
"Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain,
to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength
and honor and glory and praise!"
13Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, singing:
"To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb
be praise and honor and glory and power,
for ever and ever!" 14The four living creatures said, "Amen," and the elders fell down and worshiped.
The Great Multitude in White Robes
9After this I looked and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and in front of the Lamb. They were wearing white robes and were holding palm branches in their hands. 10And they cried out in a loud voice:
"Salvation belongs to our God,
who sits on the throne,
and to the Lamb." 11All the angels were standing around the throne and around the elders and the four living creatures. They fell down on their faces before the throne and worshiped God, 12saying:
"Amen!
Praise and glory
and wisdom and thanks and honor
and power and strength
be to our God for ever and ever.
Amen!"
13Then one of the elders asked me, "These in white robes—who are they, and where did they come from?"
14I answered, "Sir, you know."
And he said, "These are they who have come out of the great tribulation; they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb. 15Therefore,
"they are before the throne of God
and serve him day and night in his temple;
and he who sits on the throne will spread his tent over them.
16Never again will they hunger;
never again will they thirst.
The sun will not beat upon them,
nor any scorching heat.
17For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd;
he will lead them to springs of living water.
And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes."
5:6-7
"Then I saw a Lamb, looking as if it had been slain, standing in the center of the throne, encircled by the four living creatures and the elders... 7He came and took the scroll from the right hand of him who sat on the throne. 8And when he had taken it, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb. Each one had a harp and they were holding golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints. 9And they sang a new song:
"You are worthy to take the scroll
and to open its seals,
because you were slain,
and with your blood you purchased men for God
from every tribe and language and people and nation.
10You have made them to be a kingdom and priests to serve our God,
and they will reign on the earth."
My first observation is that the Lamb (Christ) is able to walk up to God who is sitting on the throne, and take the scroll from his right hand. This is significant because it shows us God's approval of this slain lamb, and it shows us of the lambs strength. Who can take something from the hand of God but God Himself. This is yet another indication and reminder that Christ, the slain lamb, is indeed God.
My second observation is that of the worship that is happening in heaven around the throne of God. In the presence of God, every knee bows, there is no option. All the angels and elders and creatures fall to their faces and worship the LORD, It is an all consuming worship.
As we think of Jesus Christ, we need to remember and be reminded that Christ is God. Who can remove the separation that God placed on humanity but God Himself! As I think of the picture of worship that is given here, it serves as a reminder that when we worship God, it ought not to be on the basis of whether or not we like the music, or the atmosphere, it ought to be based on who God is. His Holiness, His righteousness, His love for us and His working in our lives.
If we choose to let silly things like music, lighting, atmosphere, and others around us, get in the way of worshiping God, the creator of the heavens and the earth. The God that created YOU and gave YOU LIFE, then it really isn't worship at all.
"Worship is the quickening of conscience by His holiness: the nourishment of mind with His truth; the purifying of imagination by His beauty; the opening of the heart to His love; the surrender of will to HIS purpose - and all of this gathered up in adoration, the most selfless emotion of which our nature is capable and therefore the chief remedy for that self-centeredness which is our original sin and the source of all actual sin."
William Temple
Revelation 5
The Scroll and the Lamb
1Then I saw in the right hand of him who sat on the throne a scroll with writing on both sides and sealed with seven seals. 2And I saw a mighty angel proclaiming in a loud voice, "Who is worthy to break the seals and open the scroll?" 3But no one in heaven or on earth or under the earth could open the scroll or even look inside it. 4I wept and wept because no one was found who was worthy to open the scroll or look inside. 5Then one of the elders said to me, "Do not weep! See, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has triumphed. He is able to open the scroll and its seven seals."
6Then I saw a Lamb, looking as if it had been slain, standing in the center of the throne, encircled by the four living creatures and the elders. He had seven horns and seven eyes, which are the seven spirits[a] of God sent out into all the earth. 7He came and took the scroll from the right hand of him who sat on the throne. 8And when he had taken it, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb. Each one had a harp and they were holding golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints. 9And they sang a new song:
"You are worthy to take the scroll
and to open its seals,
because you were slain,
and with your blood you purchased men for God
from every tribe and language and people and nation.
10You have made them to be a kingdom and priests to serve our God,
and they will reign on the earth."
11Then I looked and heard the voice of many angels, numbering thousands upon thousands, and ten thousand times ten thousand. They encircled the throne and the living creatures and the elders. 12In a loud voice they sang:
"Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain,
to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength
and honor and glory and praise!"
13Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, singing:
"To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb
be praise and honor and glory and power,
for ever and ever!" 14The four living creatures said, "Amen," and the elders fell down and worshiped.
The Great Multitude in White Robes
9After this I looked and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and in front of the Lamb. They were wearing white robes and were holding palm branches in their hands. 10And they cried out in a loud voice:
"Salvation belongs to our God,
who sits on the throne,
and to the Lamb." 11All the angels were standing around the throne and around the elders and the four living creatures. They fell down on their faces before the throne and worshiped God, 12saying:
"Amen!
Praise and glory
and wisdom and thanks and honor
and power and strength
be to our God for ever and ever.
Amen!"
13Then one of the elders asked me, "These in white robes—who are they, and where did they come from?"
14I answered, "Sir, you know."
And he said, "These are they who have come out of the great tribulation; they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb. 15Therefore,
"they are before the throne of God
and serve him day and night in his temple;
and he who sits on the throne will spread his tent over them.
16Never again will they hunger;
never again will they thirst.
The sun will not beat upon them,
nor any scorching heat.
17For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd;
he will lead them to springs of living water.
And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes."
Sunday, November 08, 2009
"Your God"
I had the pleasure of visiting a local church for Sunday service this morning, and as we were getting ready to pray, we were directed to prepare our hearts for prayer. In the process, the leader said this and I quote, "as you get ready to pray, prepare yourself however you do to go to your God." Now how I took this was to say that however I view God in my own mind, I was to prepare myself to go to Him, whatever that might look like. I am hoping that isn't how it was intended, but it got me to thinking.
How many times do we tend to look at God in a way that makes us feel better about our position or our condition? In times of distress, do we look at God as a tender loving God that will certainly not allow us to go through trials and tribulations? In times of great prosperity, do we tend to see God as Ok with us because life is so good and I'll bet even often times, we forget about Him, because there hasn't been a "need" to go to Him.
We need to be careful about doing this, because God is who He says He is. We cannot make God into something He is not. We must not assume Him to be anything other than what He says in His word that He is. If we do, we break the first and second commandment:
"ONE: 'You shall have no other gods before Me.'
TWO: 'You shall not make for yourself a carved image--any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.'
There are literally hundreds of references in the Bible where God says "I AM..." He tells us who He is, we just need to pay attention and stop assuming who He is. When we assume or try to make God something that He is not, we form in our mind an idol, a false God. This is why it is important we come to know the character and nature of God, who He says He is.
We should not be under any allusion that we each have access to our own God, or that we even have a deal with God that allows us to live our lives as we choose. There is but ONE God, He is the same yesterday, today and forever. We either choose to serve Him as HE is or not at all. It is not God that changes, we do.
How many times do we tend to look at God in a way that makes us feel better about our position or our condition? In times of distress, do we look at God as a tender loving God that will certainly not allow us to go through trials and tribulations? In times of great prosperity, do we tend to see God as Ok with us because life is so good and I'll bet even often times, we forget about Him, because there hasn't been a "need" to go to Him.
We need to be careful about doing this, because God is who He says He is. We cannot make God into something He is not. We must not assume Him to be anything other than what He says in His word that He is. If we do, we break the first and second commandment:
"ONE: 'You shall have no other gods before Me.'
TWO: 'You shall not make for yourself a carved image--any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.'
There are literally hundreds of references in the Bible where God says "I AM..." He tells us who He is, we just need to pay attention and stop assuming who He is. When we assume or try to make God something that He is not, we form in our mind an idol, a false God. This is why it is important we come to know the character and nature of God, who He says He is.
We should not be under any allusion that we each have access to our own God, or that we even have a deal with God that allows us to live our lives as we choose. There is but ONE God, He is the same yesterday, today and forever. We either choose to serve Him as HE is or not at all. It is not God that changes, we do.
Sunday, October 04, 2009
Boys will be boys
This is a response paper I had to write to an column that showed up in our local paper back in 2000.
Jonah Goldberg in his column “War on boys is war on manhood” brings some very interesting information to light concerning the current philosophy of raising children, specifically boys, in such a way as to curb their “barbaric” behaviors and level the playing field for children in general. He addresses the issue of self-esteem and egos in children being harmed due to competitive environments.
Goldberg’s visit to the Upper West Side Manhattan school, brings up some disturbing and sad images of children not having a reason to try to do their best. Where is the reward in telling a child that no matter how hard he or she tries, they will do no better than a child who doesn’t? How then is the child’s ego or self-esteem boosted, which in turn brings about a desire to do better the next time. By removing the affirmation of hard work and individual growth, you essentially remove the desire or the drive to do anything at all. Being competitive is a natural instinct of a boy. Instead of squelching it and driving it out of him, we would do better to teach them how to harness it to work for them, to better them, and to eventually better society through it.
Society today would have us believe that by taking away the natural instincts of boys and regulating them in their ability to act as boys, we can effectively enhance not only their adolescence but that of the female gender as well. According to academic feminists, “…girls are an endangered species, falling further behind academically and socially.” (Goldberg, 2000) They go on to claim that, “Boys create a competitive, nasty, environment.” Gloria Steinem says the solution to this issue is to, “…raise boys like we raise girls.” Goldberg does not agree with this position nor that of the school, that being of an “everybody wins” mindset, which says, no matter how bad or good you do, as long as you had fun, that’s all that matters. He sites several statistics in response to the claims that girls are falling behind academically and socially. Some of them concerning education being that, “Girls read more books, get better grades,” and “take more Advanced Placement Classes.” Goldberg also cites that in 1997, “56 percent of college freshman were girls… boys 44 percent.”
Some of the main assumptions that come from Goldberg’s arguments are that “all children are essentially barbarians, but boys especially so. Thus it requires more work to make them into human beings.” This argument assumes that children are inherently bad or naturally mean and aggressive. I would content that children are a product of their environment at home. Children are sponges and will learn from what they experience and see. I think Goldberg goes a bit far in terming all children as barbarians; maybe a more suited term or phrase would be to say that all children are ignorant to acceptable behavior and need to be instructed and taught toward that end. That responsibility falls on the shoulders of the parents, not the school system.
Another assumption of Goldberg is that allowing boys to be boys will eventually lead them to being well adjusted men. I would again contend that allowing boys to act, as they will, will most likely not produce a well adjusted man but will produce a man that thinks he can act any way he wants and get away with it. Well-adjusted men are men that understand their ability and nature to act in certain ways, but demonstrate control over that ability. When faced with a problem or issue, men certainly act differently than women do, and in most cases for specific reasons. For example; In times of war, it is easier for a male to fight with an aggressive nature than for a female. And when your child comes to you crying because they skinned their knee, they often times will want mommy because a female can provide that tender loving support needed at the time.
For the most part, I agree with what Goldberg states in his column. I disagree with the stance these particular schools have taken with teaching children that hard work, perseverance and a competitive spirit are bad traits. I think in the log run, they are setting those particular children up for failure as adults, especially in their careers and in their relationships. I agree that we should allow boys to act like boys, to demonstrate, in a healthy way, their competitiveness and aggressiveness. I believe that by doing so, we will bring up men that will be able to understand who they are, what they are capable of, and endow them with a spirit of perseverance that will bring them through the difficult things life can throw at them. For myself, my three sons will be allowed to play hard, challenge each other, discover what they can and can’t do and all with the intent of training them to become a man that can be respected, trusted and dependable.
References
Goldberg, J. (2000, July 17). War on boys is war on manhood. Fort Wayne Journal-
Gazette, p. A11.
Jonah Goldberg in his column “War on boys is war on manhood” brings some very interesting information to light concerning the current philosophy of raising children, specifically boys, in such a way as to curb their “barbaric” behaviors and level the playing field for children in general. He addresses the issue of self-esteem and egos in children being harmed due to competitive environments.
Goldberg’s visit to the Upper West Side Manhattan school, brings up some disturbing and sad images of children not having a reason to try to do their best. Where is the reward in telling a child that no matter how hard he or she tries, they will do no better than a child who doesn’t? How then is the child’s ego or self-esteem boosted, which in turn brings about a desire to do better the next time. By removing the affirmation of hard work and individual growth, you essentially remove the desire or the drive to do anything at all. Being competitive is a natural instinct of a boy. Instead of squelching it and driving it out of him, we would do better to teach them how to harness it to work for them, to better them, and to eventually better society through it.
Society today would have us believe that by taking away the natural instincts of boys and regulating them in their ability to act as boys, we can effectively enhance not only their adolescence but that of the female gender as well. According to academic feminists, “…girls are an endangered species, falling further behind academically and socially.” (Goldberg, 2000) They go on to claim that, “Boys create a competitive, nasty, environment.” Gloria Steinem says the solution to this issue is to, “…raise boys like we raise girls.” Goldberg does not agree with this position nor that of the school, that being of an “everybody wins” mindset, which says, no matter how bad or good you do, as long as you had fun, that’s all that matters. He sites several statistics in response to the claims that girls are falling behind academically and socially. Some of them concerning education being that, “Girls read more books, get better grades,” and “take more Advanced Placement Classes.” Goldberg also cites that in 1997, “56 percent of college freshman were girls… boys 44 percent.”
Some of the main assumptions that come from Goldberg’s arguments are that “all children are essentially barbarians, but boys especially so. Thus it requires more work to make them into human beings.” This argument assumes that children are inherently bad or naturally mean and aggressive. I would content that children are a product of their environment at home. Children are sponges and will learn from what they experience and see. I think Goldberg goes a bit far in terming all children as barbarians; maybe a more suited term or phrase would be to say that all children are ignorant to acceptable behavior and need to be instructed and taught toward that end. That responsibility falls on the shoulders of the parents, not the school system.
Another assumption of Goldberg is that allowing boys to be boys will eventually lead them to being well adjusted men. I would again contend that allowing boys to act, as they will, will most likely not produce a well adjusted man but will produce a man that thinks he can act any way he wants and get away with it. Well-adjusted men are men that understand their ability and nature to act in certain ways, but demonstrate control over that ability. When faced with a problem or issue, men certainly act differently than women do, and in most cases for specific reasons. For example; In times of war, it is easier for a male to fight with an aggressive nature than for a female. And when your child comes to you crying because they skinned their knee, they often times will want mommy because a female can provide that tender loving support needed at the time.
For the most part, I agree with what Goldberg states in his column. I disagree with the stance these particular schools have taken with teaching children that hard work, perseverance and a competitive spirit are bad traits. I think in the log run, they are setting those particular children up for failure as adults, especially in their careers and in their relationships. I agree that we should allow boys to act like boys, to demonstrate, in a healthy way, their competitiveness and aggressiveness. I believe that by doing so, we will bring up men that will be able to understand who they are, what they are capable of, and endow them with a spirit of perseverance that will bring them through the difficult things life can throw at them. For myself, my three sons will be allowed to play hard, challenge each other, discover what they can and can’t do and all with the intent of training them to become a man that can be respected, trusted and dependable.
References
Goldberg, J. (2000, July 17). War on boys is war on manhood. Fort Wayne Journal-
Gazette, p. A11.
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