A Dark Shadow

Have you ever felt like you were standing in the shadow of Goliath, and wondered how you were going to make it out alive? I did, on August 27th of 2006. I had just started a new position at a church across town as the Worship and Arts Director. I was in about my fourth or fifth week and was just starting to get used to the job, when I received a letter from the Bishop of our denomination asking me if I would consider being the point person for Worship and music for our first ever National Conference. Confusion set in first, as I tried to make sense of the letter. I couldn’t understand why they would be asking a guy like me, who leads a church of 120, to head up and organize an event, that had never been done before, for over a thousand people.

Then honor poked its head in the door. I felt very flattered that they would seek me out, and at the same time I was still confused, and asking “why me”. Ultimately, I agreed to the position and task at hand, and dove in headfirst. I knew nothing of stage lighting or Image magnification, which were two of the major components they wanted to be a part of the event.

It took nine months of planning, brain storming, banging my head against a wall, organizing music teams, drama teams, dance teams and being afraid of it all, to help me realize that I was in over my head. Instantly, fear stood up and cast a shadow over me. I came to the realization that I was not big enough, smart enough, or wise enough to do this job. After all, I was just the guy who leads a small group of people in worship across town.

It was at this point, I felt like I was standing in front of Goliath and looking for my way out. Then one day, I received a post card in the mail from a former bishop. It was a note telling me that he was praying for me and wanted to encourage me with a scripture. On the bottom of the handwritten card, was this passage. Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” (NIV)

This prayer card was quickly followed by another prayer card from another former bishop. His hand written note also told me of his prayers for me and included this passage at the bottom. Isaiah 40:31 “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not be weary, they will walk and not be faint.” (NIV)

These passages of scripture, I considered messages from God. I felt Him telling me, that in spite of the shear size of this giant, He would sustain me. He would give me the strength to persevere if I would only seek Him first and wait on Him.

The remainder of the planning from that point on, fell into place almost on it’s own. God handed me the things I needed on a silver platter. There were over 1000 people from over 200 churches from across the country, and some from over seas, who gathered together in a room in northern Ohio, and found themselves worshipping together as one large family of God. Overall the conference was a huge success and went off without a hitch.

Through this experience, I realized that we don’t need to be strong enough or smart enough or even brave enough to look a giant in the face. We just need to be willing to let God use us as He chooses, working from His strength and resources. Sometimes when I don’t’ expect it, fear still stands up and cast it’s shadow over me, but being reminded of the scripture’s and God’s goodness, the giant of fear has no place to stand.